False Evidence Appearing Real: F.E.A.R

"Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small." -Ruth Gendler

I've been consumed by fear.
ever more so during and after bkk; & I find this quote more apt than ever: "Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends. (Shirley Maclaine)

I keep replaying the 4 days in my head every night before I sleep. keep playing keep replaying. like it wont ever stop haunting me. but yes, I felt utter regretful about how it cannot be just pure sheer happiness and fun and enjoyment. I cannot say he ruin it totally. because I am guilty of it myself. and so affecting the rest too.
and its stucked on replay.


"To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another."
-Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

and as I searched on the reason why I am succumb to this monster inside me, I realized I let it grew:"Fear cannot take what you do not give it." (Christopher Coan); that yes I fed it faithfully.

I couldnt let it go. I am that obstinate. I am that thats why it could become stronger and better than me. I couldnt let it out. because im giving it a leg to stand.


"Fear is the highest fence."
-Dudley Nichols

and Fear is my feeling asking for a hug.
no, more than once.