what has become of me

what is still inside of me
that you cannot see
nor feel
is supposedly my true self
whom i cannot meet
nor touch
is supposedly just mere me.

hello me,
im writing this to you right now in the midst of the hazy weather and crazy hot day. i would like to request you to show yourself soon, because any further delay would mean a part of me will die. i know you have a relationship, and there have been ups and downs. i know you had hidden yourself because you are afraid but really? i always thought you are formidable and invulnerable. but maybe only you know it yourself best. weird isnt it? yet you dont know about yourself still.
i guess searching your inner self has been a 22years of cultivation and still ongoing right now as i speak to you. dozens tons of things weighing inside you could have come to an end. but you are just so soft inside that i cannot bear to let things go. or is it merely you doing yourself a disfavor? yes, thats it. you are just trying to torture yourself right from the start!
go let yourself loose.
go let yourself off.
alright, im waiting for your reply or signs soon.
off to shower, ciaos.

cheers, I.