Day 30: Love Drunk

i got so drunk on thursday night.
before the super twirling of my head and vomitting like deadshit, everything was uber fun in the club.
drinking beer to vodka then to long island.
nice.
i was always sober, just that the effect of alcohol sets in and i realised i couldnt walk straight, i couldnt stand, and my heart was pumping faster in that 1hour.
hahaha, i got to say i love the clubbing cause i got to get closer to him.
got everyone high and going.
i love partying, especially when im free.
i got nothing to care about, and i dont need to.
i guess freedom is intrinsic in geminis.
in short, i love thurs, minus all the lightheadedness and vomitting,
i still love thurs night.

* * *

no matter how much they would like us to get back,
deep down in you,
you know.
you know you didnt want to.
you knew the supper doesnt help.
you knew just words couldnt piece things back.
you knew thats final.
it will take a miracle to start afresh.
because trust and faith arent easy to build.
because not both sides reciprocate.
because maybe thats the end.

i think no matter how much i love you, or had loved you,
it doesnt change the accumulation of mistrust and resentment in us all.
why not let yourself go, not be bounded and follow what you've always wanted to do?
chase the girls that are more worthy, more compatible, better in all other ways?
and maybe thats why we dont deserve each other.

you can search for the one for you again.
you can go.
then maybe i can go too.
then some time later in life we would reminisce only the good times we had.
and embrace another new love again and not repeat the mistakes we once committed on each other.

and we learnt to be a better person altogether.
i blessed you.