im just average.

or maybe less than that.



I OVERSLEPT, WOKE UP @7.30AM, A HOUR BEFORE LESSON STARTS.
and its only the 3rd week of school.
stupidly, i still had a minute to choose what to wear, really frustrating.
grabbed my tank,leggings etcetc and rushed to washroom.
threw away my nicely brewed hot choco and two half-boiled eggs that i faithfully requested mummy to prepare.
now, gone.
thought W would kindly drove me to school but there he was, lying on the bed like a dead log and replying me that he still have work later on.
as if idk(-.-)
okay then, today will be the day that my purse burns a mad big hole.
and im left with just 17$ cash, to survive for the whole damn day.
i was really fortunate that a cab arrived less than a minute.

tuesday really suck big time for me, it seems that im always late for one of my favourite tutorial in the morning.
and what made everything worse?
there was a jam on the highway. (its just..."argh FML", you know?)
but then, something caught my eyes in the cab.

something that actually calmed my disordered soul.
something that warms my heart underneath.
its just some sort of "TO MY DAD" stuffs that you can find islandwide in gift shops on papi's day?
there were three of such right infront of my passenger seat.
i was staring at it.
and i realised that the cabbie must be a daddy of a child.
i could sense the tender love of a child to his/her dad.
and overhead me, i saw the sign:
"drive safely for your loved ones".
something like that that you can sometimes see when you drive on the highways.

perhaps many people would just glanced and shoved the image away in a split second or so,
but i pondered, unknowingly.
and it dawned on me that, i haven got a handmade card for my papi(or my mummy too) for a very very very very long time on ocassions, which i used to.
mad guilty now i think of it.
but such mushy stuffs actually stop at the very moment when most of my time was eaten up by studies.
or perhaps, its just an excuse.
i dont work really hard for jc too.
or so it seems.

but i smiled to myself, and secretly for the cabbie too.
i hope he drives safely after he drops me off.
and he's the first cabbie that i dont really detest.
uber polite and courteous and all.
i gave him more tips than the others that i took.
he sent me to school on time, or may be i should just say,
early.
finally, im not late on tuesday today.
and such little things?
actually make my day.
but of course, waking up late doesnt(-.-)
its no fun at all.


then again, im really am not special.
like how it goes,
im just average.

or maybe less than that.

P/S. And even though I warn you many many times, deep down I think I admire you for being so reckless. Isn't courage to love despite knowing that you'd get hurt admirable? Will I ever, ever find someone that would make me want to risk it all for him? Risk all that I've believed in, so far? So far, no. I kill it everytime.
-fly's friend, alien.

& so far,
yes.