Emotional Blackmail

times like this
i would take up my pen to write in my diary
or gave myself a faster way
to pop over here and getaway

constantly trapped in my emotional blackmail
his emotional blackmailing
why is this a circle i cant seems to get out

i thought the last time was the end of all these struggles
i could put those behind
i want to live up to my words
you and i said we wont do it again

dreams are so real and vivid when you are pregnant
i wasnt looking out for a deviation from what we last promised

sorry

you broke it

should i've known?

i cried so hard yesterday
was i pitying myself
or was i trying to move on
i think i could do that for the sake of my child
i think maybe the rest really doesnt matter

its not cheating
its hiding
and am i suppose to let live
because ultimately it happened and it will happen again
knowing that i cannot pass myself
to accept it

should i've known?

or should i been in the dark
then it would have been simpler

would i've prefer that way?


im gonna live my life my way