Mixed

seeing how I much I revisit this memory dairy of mine, it seems like this time I have something big in life to announce.

it feels surreal, that I might be getting married just this year.
but I felt like a mix.
I feel scared, worried and unsettled.

maybe that's what they call the real jitters.

that all of a sudden, the child in me is growing, up.
that marriage and starting a family seems like a decade later thing suddenly pounce on me.
not uncaught, but rather, just the feeling itself, surreal?

my engagement ring was bought last year 29th Dec, if im not wrong. (haha)
but I thought, it wouldn't be this year.

then again, fate has it.

on the side note, the ring might not be much in others' eyes.
it might not be the most unique or special ever designed ring.
but it is something I like. love, in fact.
and more importantly, he put it on me.

I guess, the symbolic meaning behind it, meant much more than its price could have measured.

so well, I hope my parents don't get a shock this Friday.
I hope they give us their blessings.
I hope all is well.



***

ah ma, it might be a little late for us in real life.
but I hope you witness this above.
I hope you are not suffering.

I hope you are relieved, that I am getting married.
that I still miss you very much.

and I believe, behind all the everyday wonders of the sky, are the works of you and the rest above.