am I me?

today I woke up to the same kind of dream as I had two weeks ago.
bad, very bad dream.
I recalled having my heart pounding like mad and subtlely I heard myself convincing not to believe in that dream.
because its a betray of trust if I believed.

really cant differentiate reality from dreams anymore.

我 怎么了

崩溃
原来是这样
原来这么可怕

原来我也会
自残
峰巅

爱情依然负担

厌倦成为最锋利的武器
刺穿只是血肉的身体
代价从来不分轻重
心底 换来的是答案


我还是开心的 吧

end hasnt really started and start hasnt really ended yet

hey.
COM428 will go real intense soon.
1st week of holidays is coming to an end soon.
its as if my real holidays haven even started yet, and school for me hasnt really ended too.
but its alright, along the weeks there's always something to look forward to and it really warms me deeply.
like the one that im really looking forward to?
its steamboat with le uni clique and also his ord.
bkk trip will commence during mid july and the excitment hasnt really kicked in.
but desperation for work after graduation has already set in.
its like i went for COM428 and had groupmates and all. but what i really see was the real working world out there and really had no confident that there is a really a space, or place for me to set foot into.
just typing an email for our prof for an impromptu pitch in class really got me off the feet.
all i could participate was giving comments which i think im really well trained in already.
but i guess the real world out there doesnt give a fck about your faithful comments at the end of the day.

J-O-B

its a tiring and crazy 3 letter word.

i guess the whole world didnt know L-I-F-E was a harder and harsher 4 letter word.

如果你在意, 我胜于他们。

如果你可以
如果你愿意
如果你在意

我其实不重要吗
难道我就不置得
你为了我改变吧

我的奢望
我的妄想
我的期待

白费
浪费
过费

I've been ignoring my blog for kinda long time. but unilife is really I dont know what else to say about it and yups finally its an end to the boring and stressed up exams and its time for play but then again im stucked in school for the next 5weeks because there is something I took up which is called the special sem and I think its gonna drown me with work again sigh I really look forward to anything in between and at least make me feel like im in the holidays please this have had to work out badly if not im just going to let myself down for working so hard yet not really and not having fun all the more and yups this is only a whole sentence paragraph (:

我要的
只是你我的
时间。

wild imagination run here there

I shouldnt be 小心眼.
this is getting scary...

if its strong then it will be

I am insecure.
I have always been.

if it works out
then maybe I will change.

find the past me and be it.