suitors

it has always been like that
no change
cause i rather not have it altered
i am solo
and will always ride solo until time ripes
i know today is a friday
a day to let your hair down for everyone 
but a friday during exam period is just another typical friday night or so
i thought i would want to have some time for myself and treat me to a movie which i really am interested to watch but my other get the better of me and after so many hours, still stucked at 1/5 questions of natural hazards? 
i gave up that thought thoroughly, well, just for today.
so i decided to pack up at 930PM. 
not because im afraid of supernatural stuffs today nor is it because its getting late,
if i say this, it may just sound like im
over-sensitive to stuffs. 
but for once, at least i think my women's instinct is working perfectly normal.
he has been noticing every other movement of mine which is freaking me and unfortunately, or perhaps definitely, irritates me. whatever i do, i eat the mcnuggets, i pack my stuffs, i volunteered takeaways for others at northspine, he is watching me, like watching my back. 
i fcking feel suffocated. 
im a gemini, i hate restrictions and supervision. 
for goodness sake, its disgusting i hate to say this. 
i hate guys treating me especially nice when i didnt ask for it. 
i knw it seems overboard for me to spout things like this but its only for few times of observations, i couldnt even stand this in less than 3days of mugging with him.
its a fortune that he ends paper this monday and tomorrow's weekend already. god bless.
and there's this another one which i can still care to entertain because, at least he's not making an effort to make himself look suspicious by keeping mute. 
at least he talks, thats why its less irritating to ignore. 

i think im psycho somewhere up there. 
i cannot help it. 
it just got into me somewhere some part of me. its maybe inherent but highly likely not. 
its tough convincing myself that they meant no harm but im already immuned to such convictions already. 
they just make it seems more like lies. 
thats all.

gosh, i hate making confessions.