Ah boy; Rudolph; kat kat; ah meow

for sorrow

"to me, you are like the person whom i read a sad book with."

對我來說，你就像是和我讀過那本傷心書的人一樣。

time to move, out.

its time to move, not on but out.
out of the comfort zone.
out of the delusion that you got a backup.
out of the mindset that everything is, alright.

the reality is this.
it is harsh. and no one will be selfless enough to back you up unconditionally. this is no hypnotising. there is a mask you got to put on, even to anyone who seems like friends to you.
you got to steer clear, and be clear-minded.

the reality is indeed, more than just harsh.
its real.

smile, not because ppl are bringing you down,
but more so because you gain the knowledge of human relationships,
just isnt something that can be easily converted, nor sustainable by giving your best,
while its just mere exploiting before it reaches what you could call a friendship.

keep it simple, keep it plain.
because i have no intention any more than before,
to make you a closer friend.

Free Fall

because life doesnt slow you down.
while you live, you learn.
I learn a lot but still refusing to learn some.
escaping because im afraid.

but how long more can I escape?
reality is an inception that I wish I could no longer hold it back and then fall.
free,
fall.

I dont know why im stressed

will the chance come for me?
I've and doing my best for searching of job.
but will that one chance, just like university vacancy,
open for me?

上了瘾，再说。

也许能填补空洞，
可能将抽空一切。

累了，就回家。

while im whole body on fire,
there was a splash of water saving me:

sardine: "because my family also treat you as family already."

how can my friends not give me up,
when i've already given myself up,
and when the one that i hope dont give me up,
gave me up totally again, too?

i teared at this sentence.
i know my friends wanted to see hope in me.
and they knew i wasnt all hopeless yet.

the fact that my eyes welled up,
i know it myself too.