no difference

im happy and dead
or
im unhappy and alive

it all look the same to me.

this is not a spiderweb

i do not own my family.

友达以上 恋人未满

i had this friend who seems urgently in need to talk to me about some heart matters yesterday. it seems like always that she suppressed her need to find me for a talk because: im hard truth.
i tell them things not many would want to listen. but i must say, i had someone i fear talking to too. yups, its alien. i find it really difficult to face wat she say sometimes beacause we all hate facing up facts that slap us right into our face, for godamn so infinite times! we do not learn, do we? we always had this struggle to let go, to face it, to have strength that we can conquer it. but we cant help and lament the fact thay we are all weak at heart. we only become stronger as we forward. now, the thing is, why does we fret over men so much? and the point is, they dont. so we do not too. at least, for the that same guy, we dont.

alright. the question now is, when should i start wrecking my brain for 2 reports of deadline 9&12nov??

误以为的爱情 断送了的友谊

P/S.i want series of m.a.c

美好是因为无视美好的逝去

happiness is not a potato.

越长大 越明白

disillusioned.
disenchanment.

been busy with reports and presentation.
but after all of these, there will still be another report doing and midterms.
and after all these shits, there's finals.
its never-ending.

shit always happens.
always last.
but good things dont.
they always dont last.

the world is not only ambiguous, its wholly ironic as well.
disdain for this world is an understatement,
isnt it?

why did adam and eve ever ate the apple?
are they that hungry?

我们之间沦于空洞的表面

原来
杀伤力
如此庞大
一发不可收拾

原来
信任
一旦摧毁
就无法弥补

原来。

逃亡是自救

多多少少
流动
不拘
的状态
大家都会体验的吧

思维
思绪
思想
到底也是一种变化多端的秩序

变化是不变的道理
不是吗

重生
寻找
我一直都是


楊丞琳 缺陷美 MV

ambivalence and ambiguous

ambivalent people
in an ambiguous world.

its normal.

色易守、情难防

好累
却不知累什么

最近 在烦些什么
却又不知烦什么
也应该不值得烦吧

某些人
有人陪
是不用自己为他顾虑
因为不用在乎 不用在意
这会让自己不是自己
而且这样会很糟

怎么办
还有一堆债
驾驶、学业、睡眠
好累
好累

要说我需要什么
现在的我
急需钱
很多很多
这应该是其中烦恼事之一
而且是非常烦恼的一件

太累了
没钱了
落败了
失望了

我走了

part as destiny

p
a
r
t
i
n
g

i
s

o
u
r

d
e
s
t
i
n
y
,

s
a
d
l
y
.

homelessness is the only home state

school school school
i barely have time to mug today. but there was still a little though,
hope there's much more to come cause exams are freaking nearing and fcking busy with my reports and ppts. yawns.
so dead with stuffs like that.

on a high note, will be setting out tmr to meet up with panda and sardine.
so long since we meet up, like around 1month nearing 2?
godly. i wonder how we manage that haha
but im glad we are meeting up like tmr!
there will be pics as usual (:
anticipate that.

alright, off for some mugging before recruitment starts.

P/S. hungry like hell, as always.

vow

i think im really not a girlfriend-material-type of person.
i kind of had the hunch at every single one everytime.
its just that kind of unconscious thinking that takes over unknowingly.
i do not know.
its not disturbing, but i just cant set out to perfect it.
its like a hurdle, a border.
i cant see over it.
its just me.

there's a barrier to the way i see a rs now.
or maybe as always.
losing faith is bad enough.
but not able to regain it is worse.

now i understand why people choose freedom over headaches or even heartaches.
though we all know its inherent to yearn for.
its kind of time to let this notion and mindset go.
we could all do without.
i could too.

sometimes i smile at myself.
for being free-will and free-spirited.
for being loved and showered with love.
for being me this moment.

very relieved.
really relieved.

i dont know whether i would be able to love again in future.
or if i would accept any.
all of these, i do not know.
i hate to have flings because im not like that.
im not the sort who enjoy responsible-free relations with people.
im sure i love obligations with people.
at least the basic kinds.

maybe i would plan to get out of sg this december.
maybe alone, maybe accompanied.
i will.

i will search for a new me.
or just the real me.

old

he shall find me.

declaration of independence

the current single status is.
dont need another half to make me whole.

im whole to start with.
im good.

P/S. you can fake that you're happy
you can fake that your life is purposeful now
you can even fake that you're you
consider these done
you've not live

june

happy birthday mom.

do you ever wonder if your name suits you?
i mean like, why are you even call that when you dont even understand and know its characteristics and traits in the beginning?
like, why am i call june when i dont fit its bill?
alright, its just some random thought when my papi clarified something regarding my name.
but given the choice, i may not know what i should name after too.
too many names and too different to be named.

imagine me as:
agnes?
brenda?
catherine?
dawn?
elle?
felicia?
gean?
hannah?
irene?
jorginia?
kate?
louisa?
mango?
nicole?
orleans?
phoebe?
quincy?
rachel?
serene
tit?
unice?
veruca?
wendy?
yvonne?

gosh, i'll stick with my own,
or just dawn/mango/kate/veruca.

okay, just june then.

the end will begin

& the start will just end.